an essay by George Henderson
I believe in the power of love, in the healing and redemptive power of love. I believe that we should love everyone as we love ourselves. And, that in that simple statement, the encouragement to love our neighbor as our self lies a huge puzzle that we can profitably work on all of our lives. The puzzle is this, in loving someone else we learn to love ourselves and we must love ourselves in order to love someone else. The idea can be summed up but not elucidated in the phrase, "the unforgiving are most often the unforgiven" or its corollary, "the unloved are most often the most unloving". Forgiveness and love are so tied together as to be nearly the same thing, one does not exist without the other. "What is love?", you might ask. Well, you'll know it when you feel it, my friend otherwise I will have to refer you to Dr Maslow and his ideas of "unconditional positive regard". Unconditional positive regard is a great idea but expressing that idea is sometimes tricky. Often times we will do what we consider to be a loving act and the object of our action, our beloved, will either not notice our action or misinterpret our actions and then the fun begins.
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
1 John 4, down toward the end, as I recall.
Love yourself fully so that you might love another as well as you love yourself and let another love you fully so that you might learn to love yourself fully.
Got it? OK, do it!
3 comments:
I don't necessarily agree with Maslow, though. Love should be at the bottom of the hierarchy. Loving yourself should come before anything else. I have, however, a fatal flaw: I am incapable of loving myself once I find someone else to love. Is that even possible? Tell me why it isn't, dear G!
Your pessimistic starfish
"Love" is an awfully big word, with too many meanings for people on both ends of the equation. I prefer to believe in generosity. But doubtless that connotes the handing out of silver dimes to a lot of people.
A generous comment to say the least. Generosity does not involve silver dimes for the best of us. Even the Apostle Peter gave what he could, I believe. You give best when you give what's in your heart which seldom causes the best of us to reach into our pockets. Thanks, rj.
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